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Dating is a balance of give and take, of being your true self (vulnerabilities and all) while getting to know someone else. It is exciting and nerve-wracking all rolled into one – AND we know there are ways to position yourself to get the best results. Knowing your desired outcome, and taking action to get there are the first steps… besides, who knows more about what you want than you?!
First, things first! Check-in with yourself.
When you are putting yourself out there to meet someone special, there are checks and balances to set yourself up for success. You know how to best identify your goals - journaling, list-making, thinking about it in your head - whatever makes you successful, use that method to answer these questions and create a clear picture of what you want:
-Why are you dating again?
-Is it for a long-term relationship, or are you looking to date for fun?
-What do you hope to gain from meeting new people?
-Are you ready for a relationship?
Then, create clarity around the kind of person this is going to be. Ask yourself:
-What are they interested in? Are they active or artsy?
-What do they look or sound like?
-Have they been married before? Do they want children?
Knowing what you want and the type of person you are looking to share your life with helps you date with intention. And when you set an intention, you open yourself up to create that reality.
Tell Everyone!
That’s right, tell everyone you know that you’re available and interested in meeting someone! Talk to your family, friends and even your coworkers – you know your mom has been dying to set you up with her doctor and your co-worker can’t stop talking about getting you out with their friend John. Do everything you can to let people know you want to meet someone (outside of making it your Facebook status)!
Remember, telling everyone opens doors of opportunity, ie., a date, which gets you meeting people and making connections. So say yes to first dates - it doesn’t mean you have to marry them! If you keep the fact that you want to meet someone a secret, chances are you’ll be stuck waiting for Mr. or Mrs. right - so don’t be shy!
Opportunity Leads to Connection.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to be open to meeting someone everywhere you go. Think about all the times in a day where you are around new people - there are countless opportunities where you could meet your future partner. You could meet them on your morning coffee run, in the gym or even the grocery store! The key is to approach others and be approachable. Need a little practice?
Strike up a conversation anywhere you go. Whether it be a romantic interest or not – the more you engage with others on a daily basis, the more practice you will have when it comes to small-talk with a potential date. Also, remember to put down your antisocial devices (phone, headphones…) and allow someone to strike up a conversation with you. Smiles and positive body language make you approachable.
Be Intentional!
Your actions and your image make a strong statement, so take care in how you present yourself. Whether you have a profile on a dating site, are going on an It’s Just Lunch date, or perusing the aisle at your local bookstore, make sure you are putting your best self forward. Dress nicely, while holding yourself to the same standard of someone that you would like to date. Update your dating profile with new, current, and sophisticated, yet, fun photos - many times this becomes the first impression. Not sure of the photo you selected? Asking a friend for a second opinion will give you confidence!
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There are so many opportunities for you to meet someone, keep your eyes open and welcome every situation as a potential meet-cute! The more you open yourself to the world, the more it will give in return.
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