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Looking for love in 2017? Start by looking in the mirror! The secret to meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right may not be in making New Year's Resolutions - but in making "un-resolutions”.
So what are “un-resolutions” and why are they better than typical resolutions when it comes to dating? Tis the season for making -- and breaking -- resolutions! While many of us say we’re going to improve ourselves, let’s face it. We start off strong, then “meh”.
It’s estimated that fewer than 1 in 10 people actually has success in achieving their resolutions.
So this year, instead of setting yourself up for failure, why not shake things up and think outside of the box. “Un-resolutions” are a way to change your attitude by making small adjustments to the way you think and act every day. We have a few tips to help you look at love in a different way.
Unlearn Bad Habits
First and foremost, if you haven’t found Mr. or Ms. Right yet, it’s time to take a look at your dating habits. Are you too picky? Are you too available? Are you too needy? These are often the bad habits that could sabotage a relationship from even starting. It might be a tough or awkward conversation, but ask some friends who can give you some honest feedback, then start taking steps toward unlearning those habits that are standing in the way of love. This is why, as a client, we ask for your feedback after each date and get that feedback from both sides. That way we can help you zero in on what could be holding you back.
Unplug Now & Then
Next, don’t phone in your relationship -- unplug now and then! Everyone texts, and it can be easy to fall into the trap of communicating only that way. But it isn’t real! Texting allows you to hide behind a screen and so much can be missed or misunderstood when you don’t hear someone’s tone. Have a real conversation -- there’s so much more you can learn about the other person when you actually talk to each other! And remember -- don’t base what you think you know about a person solely by what you find on their social media feeds.
Unpack Your “Baggage”
Whether it’s the “ex”, family drama, or your past dating fails -- everyone has baggage. The secret is making sure that you recognize that you have it and you work hard at not letting it dictate your decisions. Unpacking it, though, doesn’t mean that you “air it all out” during your first date! It means understanding your baggage so that you can have a proper perspective and healthier relationships.
Unleash Your Confidence
Ring in the new year with a new attitude! If you’ve been in a dating slump for a while, it’s understandable to feel negative. But a positive attitude is something that a majority of our clients are looking for! Don’t put so much pressure on yourself -- whether it’s to get in shape, lose a few pounds, or even that every date has to be a “perfect fairytale.” Start small and do things that will make you feel good about yourself. Get a new haircut, a new outfit, new shoes. Go somewhere new. By unleashing your confidence, you’re automatically more attractive and setting yourself up for success instead of failure.
What if you mess up and slip back into old habits?
It’s going to happen, and it would be easy to give up! The reason people give up on their resolutions is that they quit when they stumble. Don’t beat yourself up about it and don’t give up! Remember -- it’s all about changing the way you think, which takes time.