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Tagging, friending, poking, Googling -- the digital age certainly has its own language! While some are fluent, others might find themselves sending the wrong message, especially if they’re in a relationship or just starting to date.
Your grandparents and parents have likely never Facebook-stalked a potential date, and depending on your age, you probably had to ask someone out either face-to-face, by phone, or even by passing a note! Now, technology and social media have made it so much faster, easier to communicate, and you have access to more options when it comes to dating.
Because social media is such a part of our daily -- and dating -- lives, it has the potential to either make or break a romance. So what are some of the biggest pitfalls of dating in the digital age?
False Impressions:
Healthy relationships start when people take time to get to know each other and establish a foundation of trust. In the age of social media, a potential date can glean a LOT of information on you before you’ve even met face to face… and that info can be good, bad or misleading! Googling a possible date or checking out their Facebook and Instagram accounts might give you a little insight, but keep in mind, it’s only a snapshot of who that person really is! Avoid “over-trolling” and reserve judgement until they have a conversation face-to-face.
Fuels Insecurity:
For partners who are trying to interpret each other’s cues from behind a screen, social media can be rife with misunderstandings and mixed messages. Let’s say you update your relationship status and he doesn’t! Or she’s still “friends” with her ex, even though you think you she should “unfriend” him. It could drive you crazy trying to figure out why. It can also lead to feelings of insecurity. Because it is so easy to do, people may find themselves obsessively checking these sites and stalking their partners or potential partners. If you are feeling insecure about something, you need to have a conversation about it.
False Intimacy:
Social media allows us to connect with a lot of people quickly -- but it can sometimes be too many, too fast. While exchanging messages and virtual flirtations can be the start of a meaningful relationship, it can’t end there. If we’re not careful, getting to know too many people too quickly can break down healthy personal boundaries and become an obstacle to genuine intimacy. Good old-fashioned togetherness, conversation and mutual affection can be supplemented by social media, but not replaced.
So what’s the best way to navigate it? It all comes down to using your best judgement! Not everything on social media is authentic and genuine -- and that includes people. The same goes for what you’re putting out there, too. Make sure you’re aware of how people are potentially seeing you, and be yourself.